


lost soul

by snjeguljica33



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Jude Kinkade/Zero | Gideon - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-12 19:32:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13554084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snjeguljica33/pseuds/snjeguljica33
Summary: the night before the morning is the darkest, but announces the new day...





	1. Chapter 1

Jude lost the notion of time while sitting in the armchair and looking out the window. Actually, he does not see what happens even though it's a bad time, because the storm is in his mind.

From the very beginning it is clear that his desires will remain unfulfilled. All his hopes and dreams, Zero could only destroy it with one word or gesture. His whole life was a longing for something that would not happen, because Zero did not know anything about it. All this was just in his head.

And it was not his first time. Life did not mislead him, and this seems like a common thing.   
The only person who loved him unconditionally was his mother, but he died so young.  
He grew up in boarding school, because Oscar the only thing he did not regret was the money to keep him away. Jude was painfully aware of it.   
Nobody ever came to visit him. Each holiday was spent alone in their room, or walking down empty halls. He was closing in on himself, even though he was shy and silent already.

And now while sitting in a dark room, like a long-grown man, again it feels like the little lost boy.

He wanted to be someone else. He wanted so much to be like an Oscar or a Zero, even a any boy out of the street. He wanted to be anyone, just not him, but he could not get out of this skin.

Again he remember again how Zero did not know anything about this. He would never dare say anything to him. And what did he expect? Of all the skills Zero used to be, reading the thought was certainly not one.

He did not dare to admit to herself he's gay. Is not that when men are excited you at all possible levels? Of course, Zero was a man, in every sense of that word.

He has always been a coward when it comes to his wishes. And now he found himself again in a shaded position. He will never admit to Zero what feels, and next to him slowly will fade because of unrequited feelings. Shit ...

He was thinking of getting rid of everything ... Oscar, club, Zero ... but how? Where to go? Everything he knew and loved was there. All except the Oscars. 

Ever since he worked for the Oscar, he did his best to prove himself. He even went countless times through his pride and morality only needed to satisfy him. Anyway, that did not mean anything to his father and Jude was enough. 

It will not even say to anyone when he leaves. Nobody cares anyway.

*

Zero woke up super-moody. The party last night was great. He ended up with two beautiful blondes who had long since gone. He loved this way, without names and problems. No obligation, just relaxing sex.

After noon he had a regular meeting with Jude and after that a late training. Enough time to recover from last night.

When he wakes up another time, it's strange that has no messages from Jude. He always reminded him of something. Good, dear, patient Jude. What would he do without him?

Take a shower, get dressed, drank an energetic drink, eat something and head to the Arena.  
He is surprised when Jude's secretary says that he has not come today. This has never happened. She tells him he called him several times, but cell phone was turned off. Both conclude that this is very unusual.

When he tries to call Jude again after training, the cell phone is still turned off. Zero decides something to do, but now for the first time he realized that he did not know anything about Jude.

Jude who took care of everyone and everything else that worried about him even when it was not related to the job. Jude he was taking for granted.  
He tried to think about who could know more, but there was no one. Finally he remembers the only things he knew about Jude, where he lived, so he went to check it out.

Long bells until the older woman comes out of the neighboring apartment. "Excuse me, do you know where Jude is?" Zero asks. The woman looks suspiciously and he adds "He's my agent."  
"I saw him this morning with the suitcases" she says cold and close the door, apparently not wanting to talk anymore.  
Zero went out into the cold night more and more concerned, still not knowing what to do now.

Tomorrow he wakes up with some bad feeling. Though he hopes Jude might have gone to some unplanned trip and will be present at work today.

But nothing, still nobody knows where Jude is. Even they all look a little weird at him. It seems that no one even noticed.

Zero does something he never did. Ask a friend in the phone company to try to locate Jude's cell phone if it is plugged in. That's his only hope. For now it seems that Jude disappeared without a trace.

*

Several months have passed. Zero has changed several agents already. He was not happy and he knew what the thing was. No one was Jude.  
Perhaps in this way he tried to encourage someone to start something, but still Jude disappearance did not interest anyone.  
What was the most horrible was the Oscar disinterest.  
Zero knew all about the infamous parents. He knew all about growing up without parental love. But such cruelty as Oscar showed, surprised even him.

He was still thinking where Jude was, which could have made him do this. The only thing he did not allow was to think that something happened to Jude.

On the other hand, he was thinking more and more how much he missed Jude, not just for work. He was tempted to wonder why he had not paid attention to Jude’s desires, and not just to her own.

*

Jude is awake, seem to him, after a year of sleep. He can not determine where he is, or who is he... and growing fear in him. He only knows he never liked to feel this way, as if was move away the ground under his feet.  
He can not remember either why he's here.  
He looked around in a little bit more detail and this managed to calm him a little.  
Think getting to know the environment will comfort him, and maybe soon someone will come and help him understand.

Slowly, get up a little and sit down. The room is light, but it's not quite white. It does not seem to be in the hospital.  
It does not hurt him anything, he just feels tired, as if he was lying long time. All this does not suggest any conclusions.  
He struggled a little and got up and slowly came to the window. Outside is a beautiful sunny day. Everything is green. It seems to be somewhere outside the city. But which city?

*

Two years ago, Zero has advanced, now is a captain of LA Devils. As always, he did what he knew best, and put any emotions aside.

Still, in some bad days or nights when he would be tortured by his nightmare, he would have thought of Jude. He refused to believe that Jude would leave him alone without explanation. But what then left him? Maybe he did not know him so well or something happened to him?


	2. Chapter 2

Jude finally realized what was going on. Apparently he was in the psychiatric hospital. The first thing he did was throw away the tablets he would get, so every day he remembered more and more.

The day he decided to go came to Oscar to tell him everything he thinks of him. Just did not count on Oscar to do all his power to disable him. He would do anything to put him away because he did not want anyone to inherit his enormous wealth, especially Jude.

Oscar ordered to follow him in some dark alley before he was able to catch the taxi, and he was shaken by two Oscar gorillas. Since then it's probably here, who knows how much time?

 

He was wise enough to continue to pretend to be as it has been so far. But when no one paid attention to him, he tried to observe what was going on and to figure out how to escape.

*

Zero felt unpleasantly whenever he saw Oscar. Something made him think that he has something with Jude disappearing. From time to time he would notice two strange men who would visit the Oscars and once decided to follow them.

He had been driving for a long time trying to stay silent until they came to the woods. Soon then stops near the building block and Zero looks from afar to what's going on.   
When he comes closer he sees this is a psychiatric hospital. He knows will not be so easy to find out what's going on here, so he decides first to check on the internet, and then come another time.

Of course he did not find anything special except some generals, but it is overflowing with the feeling that all this had some connection with Jude.  
The next time he takes a free weekend and goes back to the hospital. He inquired a little, and did not know anything else again. Walking around the environment and this time happiness smiles to him.   
From a distance, he sees a couple of people sitting in the yard. When he approaches, he sees one of them is Jude. He sit under the tree with a book in his lap and look lost in the distance.

Zero heart hovers but more because of concerns. Jude does not look good. It only gives him a new incentive to try and pull him out of here.

*

Jude seem that for a moment he saw a familiar face, but could not say with certainty. Not sure, maybe just imagining. Yet there is a spark of hope in it. Maybe, only maybe, not all forgotten about him.

*

When Zero almost prepares the whole plan to pull Jude out, something happens that makes him race with time.

One night Oscar died in a traffic accident. Zero is afraid that just a terrible thing is going to happen to Jude, because he is left for mercy of strangers.  
No more time to think. Zero prepare what he had and drive back to the hospital.

It's night and he knows it will hardly succeed, but he knows that this is his only chance.  
At the reception he told a story that he was sent from the Oscar. To his fortune, his charm breaks into a young nurse who allow him to visit Jude.

Zero entered the room and quickly gathered Jude stuff before awoke him.  
"Jude" gently shook him and when he looked at him with those dark eyes, Zero put his hand over his mouth and whispered "You have to believe me, can you do that?"   
When Jude nodded and stood up, he helped him dress up and both ran to the car and disappeared in the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Jude is afraid to speak because all this seems so unrealistic. Zero took him out of the hospital? Zero? How is this possible?

"Are you okay?" Zero asks after a long silence. "Yes" Jude says "What happened?” he feels this is not all, that Zero something hidden from him.

"Oscar is dead" Zero knows that it makes no sense to hide that. Jude does not say anything, so Zero just squeezes his hand in support. Now they are two against the rest of the world.

He hopes that Jude will fill the gaps he has not figured, but there is time for it. Now it is important to drive Jude to a safe place.

The silence again falls among them as they drive through the night. After a few hours, according to Jude's estimation, Zero finally settles in front of a cabin somewhere in the woods.

"Come on, this is a safe place for now. We both need rest" Zero took the bags and lead Jude inside.

It's not cold, but Zero still include heating and making beds.  
"Are you hungry? I brought sandwiches "and add one when Jude nod. Give him water too. He sat next to Jude only to he feel safe. In fact, he needs this too.

Jude lie down and can not sleep. It feels safe and protected. Finally somebody cares about him but worried what hang in the air.  
Zero will probably tell him tomorrow. It can wait one more day.

Then Zero feels his fear, lie near him, and takes his hand. Jude does not feel embarrassed or weird. It just overwhelms the peace and finally falls asleep.

In the morning, Zero is already walking around the house and making coffee. Jude straighten up in bed "Morning" says when Zero looks at him with a smile "Morning to you too."

"Talk to me" he says simply when Zero adds him a mug and sits next to him holding his own.

"I'm not sure what's going to happen now. Oscar had kept you away from the public for years. This must be something he did not count on. The drunk driver ran into his car and killed him in the place" when taking a sip of coffee, he continues "I'm afraid his associates know about you and they will try to find you. I'm not even sure that the accident was a coincidence ... "

Zero paused and looked at Jude. He is not scared, as if this is not all that surprising. "Oscar was weird, but he did not deserve it" he says sadly.

"I was hoping you would tell me how you came to the hospital?" Zero expects some information he could not understand.

Jude told him what he remembered from the day he decided to give up everything and came to Oscar "I do not remember very much ... Oscar was angry, and I just wanted to get away from him ... and from you ... " Jude quietly finished.

"Sorry, I was too busy to see" Zero again took his hand in his "I never wanted to hurt you."

Jude smiles "Not your fault. This would happen anyway. I need a little time to recover, so we'll figure out what next. OK?"

"Together?" Says Zero somehow quieter. Jude just nod. Whatever happens, they can count on each other.  
"I'm going to get something for food and drink now" Zero stood up and drove off to the village, leaving Jude to rest.

They cook together. Jude is resting as Zero reads or watches TV together. Jude does not even want to ask what's going to be with his career now. For the first time, he's selfish and wants to keep it as long as possible.

Days are still beautiful, and sometimes they walk around the area. They are talking about a real plan that would be best for them to do when Jude recovered.

One day Zero says he did not answer anyone and simply left everything.  
"You work so hard..." Jude says a little sad.  
"I do not care anymore" Zero says and really thinks it.

"You left everything for me?" Jude asks quietly and Zero smiles, turns to him and kisses him.

Jude is not really surprised. He wanted this for so long, so he simply respond ... they kissed for a long time.... When they enter the house they do not want to rush anywhere. They just bend together on the couch and enjoy the peace and quiet. At least until they can.


	4. Chapter 4

Days run slowly and although they are constantly aware of the situation, trying to enjoy at least in each other.  
Jude likes to wake up every morning with a man he loves so much.  
He remember how recently was lost and unhappy, but then he would look at him or embrace him and all ugly memory disappeared.

The hut that Zero hired will serve them for some time, but knew they would have to go soon. They had no idea what was happening somewhere outside of their little world.

They often talk and think what they will do. This was not a permanent solution, someone will certainly recognize Zero.

Zero was thinking about the life he now lived. He used to be at the bottom, then at the top of the world, but now he was exactly where he wanted it. He was ready to protect Jude. How could he live before Jude? Everything he thinks is important before, now seemed tedious and nonsense.

The next morning when Jude wakes up Zero collects luggage "Come on, we move on" says while kissed him. Jude trusts him completely, because Zero was all risk for him.

 

The next destination is a small town in the south. Zero now looks a bit different. It has longer hair and beard, for now it should be enough to keep them under the radar.  
Occasionally they hear some rumors about LA Devils who now has new administration. Jude did not think much about it, actually he did not care anymore.

One night they was visited by one of the people who Zero remembered from the hospital. Right from the door, he says has no bad intentions. Zero is suspicious, but Jude is offering him a drink, so a man tells him what actually happened.

"Oscar had once been involved in an car accident where two people were killed. Woman and child. He was not guilty, but the man who remained without his family never forgave him. For years he came and threatened him, especially when Jude returned and started working for LA Devils. Jude, Oscar may not have acted right, but he just tried to protect you. That night when Oscar died, he was not alone in the car. He was with that man. No one knows how they got together, but they both died that night.  
You hid well, I hardly found you. I just wanted to say there was no danger for Jude. In addition, LA Devils has temporary administration, maybe both might think about returning. "  
They talk briefly some time after that, and the man goes away.

Jude and Zero attempt to process the information they have learned. They decide they will stay here until think about everything.

Zero leaves Jude to decide. It does not matter where they are, just while they are together. Jude is thinking for a long time, but he knows he has already decided. He did not want anything to his the past. Since when came to LA, he just wanted to impress his father, now that it was no point to go back. His job, he could work anywhere.

Zero thought the same. He finally found Jude, and the two of them were family. What he dreamed of as a boy, he had some time, but this was a lot bigger than that...


End file.
